Saturday, October 16, 2010

This little meme was shared on the blog of my very talented friend, BonnieRose, http://alifeunrehearsed2.blogspot.com/.  She invited her readers to participate and share it so I thought I would...it is very thought provoking...thanks Bonnie!!!
This is me.

Right now.





i am --a little sad and a little relieved that the work on my parents house is almost done.  I won't be truly able to move on until we sell it.



i think --that I took a lot of things for granted and I should be more appreciative of the good things in my life.



i know --that God has a plan...I just have to be patient.



i want --a house by the beach with a little glass walled garden room to read and create in and lots of open windows to let the sweet smell and warm breezes in.



i have --too many insecurities, too many self doubts, too many negative people in my life.



i dislike --people who are mean and rude.  Too many people have forgotten what compassion is.



i miss --My family...I know they're together, but I'm jealous...I want them here with me.



i fear --Noone will truly understand me.



i feel --sad a lot...



i hear --if I'm really quite and concentrate, my Mother's laugh...it was a beautiful sound full of life and joy.



i smell --apple cinnamon candles...which I LOVE!!



i crave -- chocolate...ALL THE TIME!!



i usually --give into the chocolate craving and then beat myself up about it...



i search --for the meaning to my life...why am I here??  What is my purpose??  You'd think at 45 I'd have a clue, but you'd be wrong.



i wonder --What kind of woman will my Granddaughter turn out to be and will I live to see it?



i regret --letting work get in the way of my family relationships and the time that was wasted.



i love --baby kisses and hugs, sunflowers, kittens, the smell of the outside after it rains.



i care --if people don't like me.



i am always --on a freaking diet!!!



i worry --that I've let my health get too bad and I won't be healthy again.



i remember --all the good times I had as a child, as a teenager and as a young Mother.



i have --unlimited growth opportunities if I make the effort.



i dance --NEVER...I am SOO un-coordinated!


i sing --because I LOVE it!!  Music is like food to me.



i don't always --fight for what I know is right...I need to stop that.



i argue--only when I am pushed to the breaking point.



i write --not enough.  I love to write, but that is one of the things that gets neglected.



i lose --interest in things pretty quickly.  I think I have adult adhd.



i wish --that people would realize how short time with our loved ones is and not sqander that precious time on petty arguments and fights.



i listen --to my ipod all the time...it goes where I go...



i don't understand why --they can't make a candy out of broccoli but that tastes like chocolate fudge...



i can usually be found --in the computer room or in my bedroom



i am scared. of dying too soon.



i need --someone to listen and not judge me



i forget--sometimes that fat people are supposed to be funny so when I get serious or sad, some people don't know how to react to me...



i am happy --when I am around my family and friends...

I would also like to invite you to participate in this little survey.  Not so much for public view, although I would love to read it, but privately, just to get a handle on where you are...right this minute.

xoxoxo

2 comments:

  1. you are so brave too my friend! I love you just the way u are.. and I feel a lot like u do... I really do... One day I honestly wud love to go to brave girls again.. and go w all my dearest friends, and u wud be one of them.. every woman needs it.. we're always working on something, aren't we?? I feel a lot like u do my friend.. U hv a dear dear friend in me.. u really do.. xooox LOVE YOU DEARLY.. XOXOX bonnierose

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't know you, but through your words I got to like you. Mourning is necessary although people around often find it annoying... no time for that, life must go on! blablabla... I think that stopping, giving oneself the time to feel this sadness and let it go through you is, in fact, a healing process and trying to supress it: the biggest mistake. Pain does not disappear... I believe it has to become something else so that we can get rid of it. Don't be afraid. I think I should try this meme-exercice too, it looks very curative! :-)

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for taking the time to comment...all thoughts and critiques are welcome...xoxoxo