Thursday, October 28, 2010



I call out your name
listening and praying
I call out your name
but no answer do I hear.

I look around for you
at home and away
I look around for you
but you do not appear.

I sit and wait for you
scared and lonely
I sit and wait for you
while slowly falls a single tear.

I call out your name
and softly I hear your voice
"Do not be sad Love
for in your heart, I'll always be near."

EJP (10/2010)

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Isn't it funny...

Isn't it funny how some things happen??  When I originally started this blog, I wrote poetry.  Not great poetry, but good enough from an amatuer like me.  I have always liked poems.  I remember in 4th grade having my little poems in the school newspaper.  I carried around  a little leather bound book and just wrote stuff down whenever the mood struck.  When Denise (my sister) died in 2006, my poetry died with her.  I tried for months to write down something, ANYTHING, and time and time again got nothing.  After a year or so, I gave up...took the book out of my purse and forgot about my poems.  I felt like that part of my creativity was over.  I moved on to other things, scrapbooking, photography, and things of that nature.  When my Mom and Kathy died in 2008, I tried again, for a minute, and gave up...convinced that what ever "muse" I had was gone.

Fast forward to this morning...I am cleaning the kitchen.  When I say cleaning, I mean deep cleaning.  Pulled out the dishes from the china cabinet and dusted them, moved the kitchen table to clean the window and the blinds,cleaned off my tiny counter space, and started cleaning my stove.  I sprayed oven cleaner, took off the knobs, took off the burners and started scrubbing away with my brillo pad.  The next thing I know, words start forming.  Before i know it, I've got the first 3 lones to a poem formed.  Not wanting to lose the lines, I stopped cleaning the stove and went to write them down.  Next thing I know, I have written 4 stanzas of a poem.  Tears are pouring down my face and I felt so free.  There is nothing like that feeling of writing down what is in your heart.  I will go back tonight and re-read it and edit it and make sure I didn't write down a bunch of jibbirish,but even if I did, that's OK.  At least I wrote something down. 

Maybe the muse is back...

Monday, October 18, 2010

Art Every Day

I have joined the Art Every Day Month challenge. ( If I did it right, you can click the title and it will take you to the site.)

I was browsing around the web and found the creative everyday site and thought this would be the perfect thing to get my creative juices flowing again.  I also have some time to get my desk cleaned up and my supplies organized.  I have been drowning in a sea of self-pity and darkness...I need to see the light believe in know that I, that is my soul, hasn't died along with every one else...This may just be the thing. 

Saturday, October 16, 2010

This little meme was shared on the blog of my very talented friend, BonnieRose,  She invited her readers to participate and share it so I thought I is very thought provoking...thanks Bonnie!!!
This is me.

Right now.

i am --a little sad and a little relieved that the work on my parents house is almost done.  I won't be truly able to move on until we sell it.

i think --that I took a lot of things for granted and I should be more appreciative of the good things in my life.

i know --that God has a plan...I just have to be patient.

i want --a house by the beach with a little glass walled garden room to read and create in and lots of open windows to let the sweet smell and warm breezes in.

i have --too many insecurities, too many self doubts, too many negative people in my life.

i dislike --people who are mean and rude.  Too many people have forgotten what compassion is.

i miss --My family...I know they're together, but I'm jealous...I want them here with me.

i fear --Noone will truly understand me.

i feel --sad a lot...

i hear --if I'm really quite and concentrate, my Mother's was a beautiful sound full of life and joy.

i smell --apple cinnamon candles...which I LOVE!!

i crave -- chocolate...ALL THE TIME!!

i usually --give into the chocolate craving and then beat myself up about it...

i search --for the meaning to my life...why am I here??  What is my purpose??  You'd think at 45 I'd have a clue, but you'd be wrong.

i wonder --What kind of woman will my Granddaughter turn out to be and will I live to see it?

i regret --letting work get in the way of my family relationships and the time that was wasted.

i love --baby kisses and hugs, sunflowers, kittens, the smell of the outside after it rains.

i care --if people don't like me.

i am always --on a freaking diet!!!

i worry --that I've let my health get too bad and I won't be healthy again.

i remember --all the good times I had as a child, as a teenager and as a young Mother.

i have --unlimited growth opportunities if I make the effort.

i dance --NEVER...I am SOO un-coordinated!

i sing --because I LOVE it!!  Music is like food to me.

i don't always --fight for what I know is right...I need to stop that.

i argue--only when I am pushed to the breaking point.

i write --not enough.  I love to write, but that is one of the things that gets neglected.

i lose --interest in things pretty quickly.  I think I have adult adhd.

i wish --that people would realize how short time with our loved ones is and not sqander that precious time on petty arguments and fights.

i listen --to my ipod all the goes where I go...

i don't understand why --they can't make a candy out of broccoli but that tastes like chocolate fudge...

i can usually be found --in the computer room or in my bedroom

i am scared. of dying too soon.

i need --someone to listen and not judge me

i forget--sometimes that fat people are supposed to be funny so when I get serious or sad, some people don't know how to react to me...

i am happy --when I am around my family and friends...

I would also like to invite you to participate in this little survey.  Not so much for public view, although I would love to read it, but privately, just to get a handle on where you are...right this minute.