It's been a while since I blogged...it's not that I don't have anything to say...it's that I'm afraid to say it. Afraid to put all of my thoughts and feelings down on paper (haha) and give them life. I know I should. I know that keeping things bottled up inside is not good and only helps me to self-destruct. I just don't know if I want to take responsiblity for what I'm feeling right now. It is sooo much easier to keep your head buried in the sand, ya know??
The bottom line is I have to make changes. Personal changes. Professional changes. Relationship changes. What has always held me back before was not having the resourses to make these changes. Now I do. When my Father passed, he left me a little inheritence. It's not an insane amount of money, but is is enough for me to comfortably make some of the changes I need to make. So the excuse of no money is not valid anymore and that kind of terrifies me.
I will be making baby steps as the days go on. I know that it is time for me to put me first. I will be 45 years old in a little over a month, and what have I accomplished in those 45 years?? I had a raised a beautiful son. That is it. My job doesn't really contribute anything to society except keep Americans obese, I do not volunteer anywhere, I do not make a difference in people
s life for the good. For almost 27 years, I have put everything on hold to be a good wife, Mother, daughter, sister. I feel like those roles are important and wouldn't change doing them, but somewhere, I lost who I am. It's time to find me again...warts and all...