Wednesday, August 12, 2009

One year

It is so hard for me to believe that it has been a year since my Mom passed. In fact, right about now, at 8:30 pm, I got the call. I don't think that is something I will ever forget. The feeling of helplessness, the fear, the lonliness. The questions. Did she suffer? Did she know it was time? Was she ready?

The big one I can answer. She was ready. She knew that she had done her job here on earth and that it was time for her to go. I try not to think of her as leaving me, more like she had so many things she wanted to take care of, and it is easier as a guardian angel.

I went to Redondo Beach today. She loved the beach. She had moved here from Michigan in the early 1960's and one of her first stops was Huntington Beach. Later, when my Uncle lived out there, we would go a lot in the summer. A few years ago I took her to Redondo Beach and she loved it too. I hadn't realized that she didn't really like the sand, but had put up with it all those years cause she loved the water and she thought we liked the sand. I had to confess that I wasn't big on sand either. That was why I liked Redondo. It has a beautiful pier but also access to the beach if you want to get into the water.

So my son took me out there today. It was a little overcast, but a mild temp. and a nice breeze. We walked to the end of the pier and I had a nice little conversation with her. I immediately felt at peace and knew she was OK. We watched a couple of sailboats off in the distance and some of the people fishing. I wanted to get a picture of the cutest little Asian woman fishing, but she didn't really want to get her picture taken, and I wanted to respect her wishes. (But she was really cute!!)


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