Wednesday, September 10, 2008

my life

I know it's been a while and that is mostly cause I have been too lazy to write. Everynight I think I should get on there and write something. Get it out in the open, but then I go to sleep or read or just veg out in front of the TV.
Things since my mother's death have been OK. I must say I am surprised. All the emotional heaviness and profound sense of loss I felt with Denise's passing haven't shown up to this party yet. I miss her dearly, I find myself thinking I need to call her and tell her about this or when I'm shopping I think she would like this but I don't feel the acute sadness I felt with Denise. I think this is because I know that she is at peace. The last month of her life she was basically confined to a bed and couldn't move. She couldn't even shift her position in bed. She was so unhappy like that. I know that she held on for as long as she did for me. One of the last things she told me was that she knew I was afaid of being alone but i wasn't. I had Ricki (My cousin/sister) and my friends and Daddy and I would be fine. And I am. For now.

Now, this lovely photo shows that I am going to be a GRANDMA!!!!! I am so excited. My son and his girlfriend have been together for 3 years and she is a lovely girl. The proud soon-to-be parents told me on the day of my Mother's memorial service. It seemed quite fitting some how. Circle of life and all that... I am not-so-secretly hoping it's a girl and Rose makes a lovely middle name, but I'm not pushing anything here...LOl

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