Monday, February 25, 2008

Manic Monday

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I started reading this last night and I am jealous. I want to have this kind of adventure. The writer goes and spends 4 months in Italy, 4 months in India, and 4 months in Indonesia. I have just started it, but I can tell it's gonna be very enlightning for me.
Is it possible that I'm having some kind of mid-life crisis? I mean, I don't have this crazy urge to buy a red sports car, or trade in my hubby for a 20 something stud, or buy hair plugs, but something is definetly off kilter. I am restless, i feel like I should be on the edge of this great ephiphany in my life or some religous clarity should be hitting me right between the eyes but nothing is happening.
I feel like I am wasting my life. These are the things I am thinking right now:
1-I hate my job right now.
2-I am not liking hubby very much right now.
3- I feel tied down to my life.
4- I feel guilty for not being there more for my parents.
5- I feel guilty for not being there for my friends.
6- I wish I could get in my car and drive away and not worry about the consequences.
7- I feel that at this point in my life, I should be able to make decisions based on my wants and needs and not because it is safe or it's expected or it's not realistic.

I AM TIRED. I AM EXHUASTED. I AM TIRED OF NOBODY EVER THINKING ABOUT WHAT I NEED.

I need hair plugs!!!!

1 comment:

  1. I haven't read this book but so many women seem to like it. Perhaps you are at another stage in your grief for your sister. I don't think there's anything wrong in assessing your life and looking at what you want. Life is short as you know very, very well.

    I can plead guilty to #1, 3, 4, 5, 6, and add #8 (money). So sit down and make a list of what you want and be as honest as you can be -- don't say to yourself that's this is crazy, it will never happen, etc. etc. Just write it down and see what the list has on it. Even if you discover that you can change maybe just ONE thing, it might make you feel so much more better.

    If you look at #7, I could argue that it contradicts 1-5 in many ways. You feel obligated to your job, your parents, your marriage and you're not doing any of these because you really want to -- (and I'm not saying dump your husband by any means, btw).

    I keep thinking you should contact Michael's or some craft store or an extension service or any place that offers adult education and teach your scrapbooking skills. You have MAD skills. You're very artistic. Maybe you can take an evening art class.

    (No hair plugs -- maybe you can rent a convertible for the day? :-) ) Hang in there!

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Thanks for taking the time to comment...all thoughts and critiques are welcome...xoxoxo