Monday, August 13, 2007

DENISE


I know I've been MIA this week, things at work have been crazy!! People quitting, people getting sick and hurt, Things just a mess in general. I have worked 3 6-day work weeks, and I am exhausted.

I also have been thinking a lot of Denise lately and I don't usually post after that. I don't want this to become a "lets feel sorry for me, my sister passed away" blog. I just really miss her. Really. You never really realize how special someone is till you lose them. I try to go on, to not be mired down in my sadness, and usually do OK. This last week though, was rough. No paticular reason, just thought about her a lot. Probably was because of working so much I had to cancel on my parents twice, and I felt very guilty about that. Very soon they won't be around and I will hate myself for all the times I put work ahead of them. At least before, Denise was around, there, to be with them so they didn't miss me as much.

This page is the last page in a scrapbook I did for my Mom for her birthday. (You can see the whole book on webshots.) She was so many things to so many of us here left behind.

(Needless to say my eating has been off the charts. I really really hate that emotional eating thing I've got going on. I will do better this week. There is no more candy in the house!!)

1 comment:

  1. I'm an only child. I am very close to one set of cousins. My cousin was killed in a car accident when she was 19. That was many years ago. You never, ever forget them. My mother and I swear we saw her or her look-alike at the state fair. It left a big hole in her immediate family and all I can say is be good to yourself, your mom, your nieces and nephews.

    You cannot be everything to your parents. I'm sure they understood why you had to cancel. You cannot be Denise. The scrapbook is lovely and your mother probably was overwhelmed by it.

    The best gift you can give to yourself, your parents and to Denise is to take care of yourself. It's okay to be sad. I was in tears just now writing about Lisa and it's been 22+ years. You will never, ever forget her and it will make you sad but the sadness does get better in time. Hang in there.

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Thanks for taking the time to comment...all thoughts and critiques are welcome...xoxoxo