Monday, April 02, 2007

back to the drawing board


So, it is back to the drawing board for me. I am going to restart my diet. I have let things go and am now looking at clothes a size bigger than what I am wearing now. I bought 4 tops for summer. I WILL NEVER BUY ANOTHER THING IN THIS SIZE!!!!
I am going back to old faithful, the SBD. I know it works, if I work it. The first time I lost around 50 lb. I will start phase one on WEd, cause I need to get to the store, but I am only doing to it get rid of the horrific cravings I have. I am so sugared out right now, I'm like a druggie looking for a fix!!
I have never excepted the fact that food = love in my mind. I didn't want to cause I am not one of those "everything is my Mother's fault" kind of people. I don't want to be mad at her or for her to feel badly and to take blame for my size. The first thing she said after Denise died was that this was her fault for letting Denise get so obese. That is complete rubish. We knew we are big. We know what to do to fix it, hell, I could teach a class on weight loss. There was just something lacking in us to get us moving. I think in my case it is the food-love thing. I'll post more on that tomorrow.

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