I was talking to my Mom tonight and she said something that really struck me. She said that Denise had lost hope of ever losing weight and that she felt hopeless. I had no idea she felt that way, and I feel horrible. She must have given up. My mom thinks she was just so tired of living in that body. Denise felt as if she had let things get completely out of control and it was never going to get better. I wish I had known that.
This is the reason I must NEVER give up hope. I wish I could tell her that it was not hopeless, and that we would do it together. I wish I had pushed the issue of her losing weight instead of thinking she was OK with things. I just didn't want to hurt her feelings. She was tough on the outside, but a marshmellow on the inside. The ironic thing is that after she was diagnosed with the cellulitis and diabetes, she did start eating better, and you could see she was losing wieght. I think she struggled the way all the rest of us have, with the cravings, the munchies, the nighttime eating, the boredom eating.
Oh Sweetie, I wish I had known.