Friday, February 23, 2007

hope

I was talking to my Mom tonight and she said something that really struck me. She said that Denise had lost hope of ever losing weight and that she felt hopeless. I had no idea she felt that way, and I feel horrible. She must have given up. My mom thinks she was just so tired of living in that body. Denise felt as if she had let things get completely out of control and it was never going to get better. I wish I had known that.

This is the reason I must NEVER give up hope. I wish I could tell her that it was not hopeless, and that we would do it together. I wish I had pushed the issue of her losing weight instead of thinking she was OK with things. I just didn't want to hurt her feelings. She was tough on the outside, but a marshmellow on the inside. The ironic thing is that after she was diagnosed with the cellulitis and diabetes, she did start eating better, and you could see she was losing wieght. I think she struggled the way all the rest of us have, with the cravings, the munchies, the nighttime eating, the boredom eating.

Oh Sweetie, I wish I had known.

losing weight


I need to lose weight. I look at that sentence and think, it's never gonna happen. Why? I have so many things wrong with me that it is an impossibility. I am lazy. I hate exercise. I don't eat right. I know what to eat, I just don't. I am a procrastinator. I know that I have to plan things ahead, but I let the laziness get the best of me, and don't. I don't want to work on it, I want it to be easy, I mean it was a piece of cake, literally, to get in this condition. I want to eat what I want, be self indulgent, lay round, and lose weight.
I need to remember that life is a choice. Everything that happens in my life, to my life, is my choice. I need to make better choices. Maybe I need to grow up and see that life is a compromise. If I give up all the junk food and bad habits, I would be thinner.
What do I think will happen when I get thin? Why do I hang onto my fat? This is something to think about. I will let you know.

Thursday, February 22, 2007


This is Jesse, Joanna, and Joel dressed for halloween. They had to have been around 7 or 8. They look so cute. It is amazing to me how they have grown up. Jesse is moving in with his fiance and getting married in November. Joanna is getting married in 2 weeks in Las Vegas. Joel has a girlfriend of 3 years and is looking to change jobs. In April, he will be 22. That is so hard to believe.

Thursday, February 08, 2007




Today was the awards lunch for work. All employees who have 2 years and over are elegible to attend. We had 4 employees get awards.

This is my best friend, Ryan. He works at the store in Rialto. This man gets me through so many days, always, ALWAYS makes me laugh and see the bright side of things. I don't know what I would do without him.
Stefanie and Becky are recieving 5 year awards. They are two of my best workers and Stefanie is such a good friend. They are definetely two of my better hires.
I like to go to the lunches to catch up with employees and other managers that I have worked with. And we get out of work for a couple of hours!!!

Thursday, February 01, 2007



This is a picture of my sister Denise and myself taken in 1976. (That would have been hard to figure out, uh?) I was 11 and Denise is 4. I have always loved this picture of us. It was actually taken as part of a package at Milton Mann studios. It was a music studio, I got sucked into taking accordian lessons, and there is also a pic of me with the accordian taken at the same time floating around somewhere!!! I have been looking at pictures lately, especialy the older ones, cause I feel like I can't remember anything from our childhood. I don't know if that is normal or not, but it is scary. Looking at the pics seems to jog my memory and that makes me feel better.