Sunday, December 24, 2006
Tomorrow is Christmas. It has been 1 month and 2 days since Denise died. I wonder if this is the way I will tell time now. It has been ___days since Denise died. It has been ____months since Denise died. Today has been rough. I have cried more today than since the days following her death. I am hoping that means tomorrow I can hold it together. I feel the need to be strong for the family. It is going to be so weird with out her. Her laughter, her smile, her bragging that her present was better then yours. It is so unfair. She was a beautiful caring person and I don't care why she is gone. I don't care about the reasons or God's reasons. All I know is I want her here with me. With us. I miss her so much. I don't want to be the only one left. I'm so sorry I didn't appreciate her while she was here. Does she know how much I love her? Was she scared? Did she know she was going to die? Was Jesus there to make her transition painless? so many questions and no answers. I hate that. I don't think I can except that. Merry Christmas sweetheart. I love you and miss you.
Posted by Evelyn at 11:28 PM